Sunday, August 13, 2017

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Director: Nicholas Webster

Stars: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Pia Zadora, Bill McCutcheon

A television crew at the North Pole is interviewing Santa Claus as he and his elves are getting ready for Christmas. The broadcast is being monitored on Mars, where it is being watched by Martian children Girmar and Bomar. These two are typical of Martian children and are listless and dispirited. Martian leader Kimar and his Council consult with elder prophet Chochem, who advises that the lost childhood of Martian children could be recaptured if they had a Santa Claus like Earth children do. Kimar gathers a crew and travels to Earth to kidnap Santa. In Earth orbit, the Martians use powerful scopes to survey the planet and see Santas on virtually every street corner of a big city! They then kidnap two Earth children, Billy and Betty, who explain that they are seeing Santa's helpers; eventually they unwillingly guide the Martians to the North Pole. Intrigue amongst the Martians develop as the viewer is introduced to the evil Voldar, who has selfish intents, and the idiotic Dropo, who allows for the Earth kids to get away in a bid to warn Santa. The Martians bring along a powerful robot called Torg to help kidnap Santa, but interestingly, the robot is toy-like enough to be passive with old St. Nick. Santa is jolly and goes back to Mars with his captors anyway, although Mrs. Claus and the elves protest, and are subdued with a freeze ray.

This is one of the best Christmas movies ever made. I kid you not. The movie makes no sense at all. I have no idea where they got the story, where it came out of. It is one of the most absurd Christmas stories I have ever seen. I mean Martians are jealous of Earth because of Santa Claus, so they want him for themselves. Because who does not want Santa for themselves.

You are not watching this movie for the special effects and what not. You are watching it for the lack of quality production. This movie was made for $100 or something around that. The sets are like bad game show backdrops. That is partly what makes this movie so great. It is cheesy as shit. The Martians are just wearing motorcycle helmets with stuff glued to them and green face paint. That was the expense of the special effects for the movie.

I love this movie so much. It is so strange and odd that it is just wonderful. There is nothing more terribly delicious that watching this movie around Christmas. If you can find a way to watch this movie, them by all means do it. Enjoy.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) Trailer
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) Full Movie

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