Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Army of Frankensteins (2013)

Director: Ryan Bellgardt

Stars: Jordan Farris, Christian Bellgardt, John Ferguson

After a failed attempt to propose to his girlfriend, Alan Jones is beaten to within an inch of his life by a street gang and taken to a mysterious lab where Dr. Tanner Finski and his kid genius assistant perform horrible experiments on him hoping to re-animate a Frankenstein. The experiments lead to a hole being ripped in space and time, manifesting an Army of Frankensteins from hundreds of parallel universes and sending them all back to the 19th century, directly into the heart of a bloody battle between the North and South. History will never be the same.

This movie is literally about people going back in time to the Civil War and bringing with an Army of Frankensteins to help fight the South. I was really shocked by what the movie was about. This movie got the greenlight to be made. The idea was brought to people, and they thought this was a great idea for a movie. Are you serious? I know concepts like this have been made before, but that does not mean that it should continue. Those movie really did not do that well, so why would someone think that this movie would be a success.

The look of the Frankenstein monsters were a bad take on the green skin, square flat head with a dark suit. It is a cookie cutter look. They did not even try to make the monsters look different, so they would really stand out. The movie could have stood out more, if the monsters looked different. They would have maybe helped the movie out. The blood and gore in the movie was pretty good. That was the best part in the whole movie.

This movie could not even get the fact from the time period right. The movie was set during the Civil War at a battlefield. There is a black female slave that is helping fight in the battle. First of all, women of any race or color were not allowed to be on the battlefield. Second of all, white men would not have let a black female a rifle to fight. The white men were racist. It did not matter, if they were having sex with the women. All of this made this movie nothing but Science Fiction. It is so far-fetched that it is not even funny, or a good movie to watch, for that matter.

This was a bad movie. It is not worth watching at all. This is one of those movies that you really need to skip. It is not watching even one. I watched it, so you don't have to.

Army of Frankensteins (2013) Trailer

Friday, April 13, 2018

Rubber (2010)

Director: Quentin Dupieux

Stars: Stephen Spinella, Roxane Mesquida, Wings Hauser

As film spectators watch, a killer car tire comes to life in a desert dump site. Flexing its... rubber... and ready to roll, it soon discovers its telekinetic ability to make small animals and people's heads explode. Lt. Chad hopes to end this movie by fatally poisoning every last spectators, but failing that, the show must go on, and the tire goes on a three-day rampage. With few left alive, a lure is constructed to draw the tire from its motel room, where hopes are to end it and this movie once and for all.

What in the hell was this movie. This movie is about a killer tire. It is moves around town and blows people's heads up. It has the power to just blow a person's head up. It is a first for me. There are many people off in the distance watching this tire move around in the desert. There was not much dialogue in this movie at all, especially in the beginning of the movie. The really odd part about the movie is that so many people recommended this move to me. They know that I like odd movie, so they thought that is would be something that I would like.

I know this movie was made in hopes of becoming an odd cult movie that groups of people come together to watch. The movie has it written all over it. It is just way too obvious. There are tons of people that like this movie, and I see why they do. This is a movie about a serial killer tire that roams around blowing up people's heads. I get it. The audience is mainly younger wannabe indie kids, looking for movies that are out of the ordinary. This is one of those movies. It is made well and watchable.

I liked this movie, but it is not a movie that I would want to watch over and over again. It is not something that I would want to watch again. Once was enough. Watch this movie and see what you think of it. Enjoy.

Rubber (2010) Trailer

Monday, April 9, 2018

Handsome Devil (2016)

Director: John Butler

Stars: Fionn O'Shea, Ardal O'Hanlon, Amy Huberman, Moe Dunford, Nicholas Galitzine

Two underclassmen roommates at an all-boys boarding school eventually and unexpectedly bond, one a social outcast, the other a star rugby player. With a new English teacher challenging students to find their own voices, the boys' friendship is tested by the rugby-obsessed expectations of others after one is found to be gay.

Here is another high school teenage coming out story. I know these movies are a dime a dozen. This one just takes place at a private boys school, so there are not any young girls running around trying to get with these two guys. You do not have to deal with that type of stupidity in this movie, but there are those jock assholes that are still in this movie. They are the ones that make the boy's life hell.

The production of the movie was well done. The acting was solid. It was not the best at all. The main two characters, Conner and Ned, are pretty cute guys. The whole cast would be ideal for dirty old men to watch. That will probably be most6 of the audience with be.

This is not a bad movie it just has been made over and over again. It is worth watching at least once. A younger audience would like this movie more than any other. I just could not see an older man being able to relate to this movie, unless they had not come out of the closet yet. That would be the only reason that I could think of. Give this movie a chance. you just may really like it. Enjoy.

Handsome Devil (2016) Trailer

Friday, March 30, 2018

Justice League (2017)

Director: Zack Snyder

Stars: Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Jason Momoa, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Ezra Miller, Ray Fisher, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, J.K. Simmons

Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to find and recruit a team of metahumans to stand against this newly awakened threat. But despite the formation of this unprecedented league of heroes-Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash-it may already be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

This movie was one that comic book and superhero fans have been waiting for. Here you have the main stars of DC Comics to fight side by side to save the world. The one main concern about the movie was the fact of how much time will each of the characters be in the movie. How is it decided on which one or more of the characters are going to get the most screen time in the movie? Either way, each one of these characters may find themselves fighting for their screen time. This could be a problem.

The movie was good, but not great, like I wanted it to be. Don't get me wrong. I really liked the movie. I'm a big fan of most of the DC characters. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash are the ones in this movie. I love the characters from back in the day, for the most part. Cyborg was not really well known back in the day, so I just was not familiar with him at all. I was just not a fan of his at all. After seeing the character in the movie, the character seemed better to me, but it is still not as great as the other characters in the movie. The history is just not there for me. Now the biggest problem that I have is with Aquaman in the movie. Why did they make him all built, tattooed with long hair and beard. He is way too brotastic and trendy that it is just too much to take. Were they just trying to get women to watch this movie? It seems that way. I would rather see the 70's Super Friends in the movie, than the ones here today. They just looked cooler to me.

The movie, itself, is pretty good. It still needed some work. There was just too much going on in the movie to really sell the story. The movie might have needed to be about double in length. You are bring together all of these characters for one movie, when their individual movies have not come out yet. There are three characters that their movie still has not yet been released. They are on their way, but the hard core fans will known the back story of all of the characters. That is what they do. The rest of the population may not really know much about the other characters, so they would need to watch those movies to be able to have the full knowledge and experience for themselves.

The special effects for the movie were great. There was a lot of them, I know. I think one could say that every single scene had some sort of special effects added to it. They looked great. I'm not complaining about it at all. All of the battles were organized to the T. The effects in the movie brought this movie to life. The acting was really good for what it was. This was an action movie dealing with superheroes, so the acting was not what you are looking for in a movie like this. This is a movie worth watching though. If you were feeling like this could be one movie to skip, you should not. At least watch this movie once. It is well worth your time. Enjoy.
Justice League (2017)Trailer

Monday, March 19, 2018

Milk (2008)

Director: Gus Van Sant

Stars: Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, James Franco, Victor Garber, Denis O'Hare, Joseph Cross

In 1972, Harvey Milk and his then-lover Scott Smith leave New York for San Francisco, with Milk determined to accomplish something meaningful in his life. Settling in the Castro District, he opens a camera shop and helps transform the area into a mecca for gays and lesbians. In 1977 he becomes the nation's first openly gay man elected to a notable public office when he wins a seat on the Board of Supervisors. The following year, Dan White kills Milk in cold blood.

This movie is a biopic of a gay man in San Francisco that beat the odds and he ran for public office and won. Harvey Milk was the first gay man to be elected into public office in the 70's. This was a really big deal. Gay people were looked down on by society. It was long overdue for big Hollywood to make a movie about a well known public gay figure. Gay people have been ignored for way too long in Hollywood, even though most of Hollywood is run by gay people.

The movie itself is almost like going back into time. The hair and wardrobe in the movie places the audience back in the 70's. All of the set decorating keeps you in the 70's.

The cast for the movie was great, for the most part. Sean Penn was wonderful in the role. I was really surprised that he was going to be the one to play the part, but I knew that he would be the best at it. He is one of the best actors in Hollywood. Josh Brolin looks like he just step out of a time machine. He looks great as Dan White. The rest of the cast was great. This movie was really an ensemble of a cast. It took all of these faces and voices to make this movie come to life.

This is a really good movie that was oddly not ignored by the Academy. One would think that it would be, since it was a gay movie. This is one of those movies that really does not need to be missed, especial if you are gay. You need to know the history of the gay movement. Enjoy.

Milk (2008) Trailer

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Vampires (1998)

Director: John Carpenter

Stars: James Woods, Daniel Baldwin, Sheryl Lee, Thomas Ian Griffith

Ever since his parents were murdered by vampires, Jack Crow has had one purpose in life: putting stakes through bloodsuckers' hearts. With his battle-hardened crew of vampire killers and the assistance of the Catholic Church, Crow roams the New Mexico desert looking for undead lairs to annihilate. But he meets his match when, at a roadside motel, he comes face to face with Jan Valek, a vampire kingpin possessed of incredible powers.

This movie was the cool, hip, brotastic vampire movie. It was made to be that cool horror movie, instead of keeping to the main story. This movie is just about a man getting revenge for his parents by hunting down the vampires that killed them. This has been made and done before and after this movie. The movie just tried to be too cool.

We have James Woods and Daniel Baldwin as the main two characters looking for these vampires. First of all, James Woods is not what anyone would really call a "cool" guy. He is a good actor. I just think that they should have gotten someone younger and cooler. It is not like there is a shortage of guys like that in Hollywood. Daniel Baldwin is the worst actor of the Baldwin brothers. He is just one of those actors that, if I see that he is in a movie, then I really do not want to see the movie at all. He just sucks.

The only part of the movie that saves it for being terrible is the action and the blood and gore throughout the movie. There are some great bloody death scenes in this movie. There is a lot of action in the movie. The other part of the movie that kind of kills the movie is the really bad "Nickelback" type of music that is placed in pieces all through the movie. It just awful. The music starts and the speeds of the film slows down to be more dramatic. It really did not work.

I know this is a John Carpenter movie, and that is the reason that I saw it in the cinema, but it just was not really up to par with his other movies. If you have not seen this movie yet, then you should give it a try. It is worth watching. Do not make this review turn you away from it. Watch it and see what you think of it. Enjoy.

Vampires (1998) Trailer

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Directors: Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg

Stars: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Kevin McNally, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley

Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar, escape from the Devil's Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea...including him. Captain Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.

Here is the fifth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I am hoping that this will be the last one, since it is just too much already. The movie before this one was not near as good as the others. It seems that the more of these movies that are made, the worse each one of them get. It is like that with most of these movies, but you did not want that to happen to these movies. I wanted these movies to keep the story quality to stay the same and not become worse. I just hate to say that this movie had the most forgettable storyline of them all. Even while watching the movie, I stopped caring about the story. It was just a generic storyline.

The entire cast came back for this movie with a few new faces added in to hopefully keep the movie fresh. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are only in the movie for a small moment, but it was really good to see both of them in this movie. The rest of the cast was still great. The addition of Javier Bardem to the cast seemed a little too late. He has become a well known and popular actor to be added to the fifth installment in a movie series. They normally get no names or actors that are not used any more for those roles. He was still great in the movie.

The best part of the entire movie was the special effects. They looked incredible as always. Captain Salazar's ship was the coolest out of all of the movies. The ship can rise up and consume other ships and their crew. It looked great. The look of the crew of that ship looked as if they were really water logged and rotting in front of you. They even have a look back at Jack Sparrow when he was young, and they did a great job of making him look real. Like they went back in time to film it. Normally when they do this, it looks horrible. They nailed it for this movie.

This movie is worth watching once, but it is not really watching over and over. This is not the worst one in the series, but it is not the best either. If you have not seen this one yet, then you need to give it a try to see what you think of it. Enjoy.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Trailer

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Gingerclown (2013)

Director: Balázs Hatvani

Stars: Ashley Lloyd, Erin Hayes, Tim Curry, Lance Henriksen, Michael Winslow, Brad Dourif, Sean Young

In 1983, a group of high school kids break into an abandoned amusement park only to realize it's overrun with monsters.

This movie looks like it takes place in the 60's, but it is a modern movie. Everything in the movie is from a different decade. It is a little all over the place in the set design, but so much of the sets look great with all of the creation of the creatures. The sets where the monsters were looked good, but the rest of the sets are bad. When they are running looking to get out of the park, it looks like they are just running through a back lot in a studio.

The actors in this movie were terrible. They could not act their way out of a box, but the real actors that did the voices for the monsters, they were great. You have some wonderful voice work in this movie. It is just too bad that they are all considered has-beens.

The monsters in the movie were great. They were mostly funny. There was nothing scary at all about the monsters or how they acted. Each one of them looked as if this movie was a film school project, not a real movie. Just look at the movement of the monsters, that says it all. They were just too slow for the movie.

This is a movie that is not for everyone. It is a movie for those of us that are into silly horror movies and such. The best part of the entire movie are the monsters. That is the what this movie is really all about. This is one of those movies that you should watch once, but that will be all you may want to watch it. It is worth it once. Enjoy.

Gingerclown (2013) Trailer

Monday, February 26, 2018

Saugatuck Cures (2015)

Director: Matthew Ladensack

Stars: Max Adler, Judith Chapman, Sophie Bolen, Danny Mooney

Drew and his best friend Brett set out on a road trip to pose as ex-gay ministers using exuberant high jinks to scam churchgoers, all in order to raise money for his mother's experimental cancer treatment.

This is nothing but an average gay movie with a predictable ending. I am not giving anything away at all. You will probably be able to figure out the movie within the first ten minutes. Now this movie is the typical of a mixture of opposites attract, and well, I do not want to give anything away. These two guys are going to churches to help turn gay men to straight, while raising money to help pay for Drew's mother's operation. I know it is a good thing to do to help out Your best friend's mother, but just not the church. The whole making fun of the whole turning gay men straight is something that still needs to be done daily. Some people still believe in all of that nonsense. The mother is not really even the main focus in the movie. It is really all about Drew. He has dealt with the fact that he is gay. He is just pretty lonely in life. This movie has zero depth.

The acting in the movie is not bad, except for the closet cases that are in the audiences while Drew and Brett "preaching". Each one of those men are beyond obvious. The blind could point them out. The real problem with this movie was the story. It needed more of a story. It was just too simple for my taste. The movie left me wanted more. It was nice to see Max Adler play another gay character besides the one on Glee.

This is one of those movies that is worth maybe watching once, but I think that is just all you will need. Watch this movie once to see Max Adler make out with another guy, but that is really all in my book. Enjoy.

Saugatuck Cures (2015) Trailer

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Jigsaw (2017)

Directors: Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig

Stars: Matt Passmore, Tobin Bell, Callum Keith Rennie, Hannah Emily Anderson

After a series of murders bearing all the markings of the Jigsaw killer, law enforcement officials find themselves chasing the ghost of a man who has been dead for over a decade, and they become embroiled in a new game that's only just begun. Is John Kramer back from the dead to remind the world to be grateful for the gift of life? Or is this a trap set by a killer with designs of his own?

I thought that there was not going to be another Saw movie, but I guess they had just one more story to tell. It was really to make more money out of the franchise. You have the original Jigsaw dead and the man and the woman that had been helping him out dead, they are going to have to invent another character to do the killing. That is what they did. It is the easiest way to add another movie. That is all they really did to make another movie. It was just that easy. They also had to think of better and more outlandish ways for a person to die.

The characters and actors in these movies are pretty much forgettable. They really do not do a bad job in this movie, but there is not a performance that really stands out like in other movies. All of the performances in the movie was average to good.

The special effects and the death scenes in this movie are really what brought it all to life. The best traps were the first and last ones. Those were the best in my opinion. The giant peeler was pretty cool, but not something that a person could really make. I don't think so. The blood and gore in the movie made me squirm in my seat. The look of the gore made me squirm in my seat. All of it looked really painful and sick. I thought that the make-up people did a great job in the movie.

I hope that this is the last of these movies, but this one made money. You know that means that someone will take the time to write another story to make money off of the series. It is worth watching at all once, so that you will know the whole story. I'm a big fan of the Saw movies, so I will get a copy of my own. Enjoy.

Jigsaw (2017) Trailer